I've met God

If you came here expecting to read about a mystical and divine experience, you might end up disappointed.

If a meeting between God and I would have transpired, I would first of all probably be writing you from a mental hospital, just for stating that.

Besides, I would’ve spent that time having a meaningful conversation with Him about the meaning of life and what lays in the future.

Most likely, I would have been more enlightened than I am now.

But, I met the next best thing, at least that’s what He… erm… he wanted me to believe.

The first moments I spent with him, I found him incredibly charming and outgoing. He radiated self-confidence, and it seemed as if there was nothing he could not do or had not done.

I can remember the strong envy I felt towards his character and how he could captivate the room and people around him.

Because of this envy, and desire to reach this ‘high level’ of being human, I got stuck in a web of manipulation and deceit. And while it took considerable time to untangle myself, the experience provided me with valuable teachings which will last a lifetime. Lessons which I happily want to share with you.

First, I want to make clear, that it is not wrong to be confident, charismatic or extrovert. Those are qualities that can have an immensely positive effect on your direct surroundings and the people nearby you.

Still, you must be aware that these are also the characteristics found in people with a “God Complex.”

‘I am God’

The ‘God Complex’ is a twisted illusion, devised in his or her own mind, which makes them perceive themselves as All-knowing and even All-powerful. It is a flaw, mostly found, but not necessarily, with those possessing great power.

They believe themselves to be the embodiment of perfection and reject the responsibility for anything that goes wrong. It is inconceivable that they would ever make a mistake, they are simply incapable of it. Everything outside of their own being is regarded as insignificant, be it the rules implemented by society, the trivial matters of this world or the petty mortals living on it.  As far as they are concerned, they are God, and they demand to be treated that way.

And while this self-absorbed complex makes them seem so sure and confident, surprisingly they are suffering from crippling low self-esteem. Insecurity and doubt make them crave for constant attention, approval, and confirmation from the ones around them. When criticized, even slightly, their delicately constructed illusion collapses, which in turn spurs their need for admiration and confirmation, and when given, results in an exaggerated sense of self-worth. The cycle is endless, disastrous and toxic.

While studies have not confirmed yet what the cause of this ‘disorder’ is, it is generally believed that it finds its roots in either the lavish pampering or vicious criticism from parentsguardians. Others believe it to be a genetic susceptibility.

‘Analyzing a god’

Perhaps you already met a god, and if not, maybe you are wondering how to spot them?  Once you know how, it is not that hard to identify an individual with a God complex.

Let us examine a few traits a person might display which could make him one of the ‘higher beings’ in this world.

As already mentioned before, they have the illusion of being superior to everyone else, be it in power, success, intelligence, attractiveness, etc.

And they demand to be treated accordingly: “Do you not see what I am bringing to this world, how I improve your lives just by allowing you in my presence?”

They expect that they should benefit special consideration and privileges, after all; ‘rules do not apply to them; rules are for the puny mortals.’

It comes to a point where the arrogance becomes so intolerable that you feel the urge to kick Mr. Almighty’s butt.

Apart from the arrogance they are judgmental and condescending. They have the uncontrollable drive to scrutinize others, label their actions, ideas, and opinions as inadequate, insufficient and not up to their godly standards.  Their tendency to devalue, discredit, undermine, humiliate and insult others is not only a way to protect themselves but also to keep others at bay and under their control.

They have an overwhelming compulsion to influence and control others; only they can pull the strings and only they can take the decisions, as they ARE the ultimate authority. To obtain and hold on to that power, they seek subjects that are sensitive to their manipulation.

Using charisma, they captivate the attention of people around them. As if having a built-in sonar, they bounce off ideas and thoughts in an attempt to detect vulnerabilities in others.

Once they have their potential victims in sight, they will play on those weaknesses, if not through manipulation then intimidation, if words don’t do the job; threats and violence will be applied.

Partially this desire for control derives from their obsession with power.

Evidently, what is a god without power, if he has no power, is he indeed a god?

If they themselves are not in possession of actual power, they will try to get close to people with authority and status, in the hope it will raise their own. In their conversations with others, they will exaggerate their level of intimacy with these empowered people.

Under the illusion that somehow the power of others rubbed off on them, they parade the street like the naked emperor, assuming only the smart ones can see their attire. And while everyone sees they are naked, some of them genuinely believe to be unworthy as they cannot see the clothing.

The drive for power results in them losing any sense of realism, fantasizing on their greatness and importance. Detaching from reality, drifting off in a world of smoke and mirrors, they do not care about anyone or anything, other than themselves.

The moment you attempt to burst their bubble, or you do not show them the respect they deem to deserve, you might notice, even only for an instant, the mask slip.

Before they can get their frustration in check, bursts of anger and aggression will rupture their holy presence. While struggling to set their mask back in place, you will find the true being behind it.

Intolerance to criticism is a distinct characteristic of self-proclaimed deities.

As stated before, while they try to sustain the fabrication of divinity and superiority, behind the veil may exist a fragile ego*that is hypersensitive to criticism or setbacks.

When a valid or imagined criticism wounds this self-image, their response can be entirely out of proportion to the situation.

* There are two types; some have a fragile ego and mask it, others truly believe in their own grandiosity. I have been writing about the former on this blog.

Be very cautious when dealing with a ‘fallen god,’ while their reactions to criticism might seem irrational and out of proportion, they have not lost control over their clear thinking, so actions and responses are measured and calculated.

In conclusion; their arrogance, judgmental and controlling behavior, idea of grandeur and the inability to stomach criticism and disagreements, makes it virtually impossible to sustain a long-term relationship with them, professionally or personally.

‘Dealing with god’

Are you wondering how to deal with a such an individual in your life?

Perhaps you are unwilling to give up on that person? Then you are probably tired of hearing the advice to ‘just leave.’

But this is, to be frank, the best advice you are going to be given.

What kind of relationship do you expect to have? What do you think to get out of this relationship? What is it worth to you?

It is important to understand that the primary objective in their lives is self-esteem enhancement.

Once you enter a relationship with them, you are signing away your right to freedom and individuality.

They have no interest in you personally, the only thing that matters is how you can be of service to them. True, you might be favored over all the others, but you are not equal, you are inferior, a subordinate! All you are good for is to serve and worship, if you are one of their favorites, you are just better at it.

As they feel omniscient, they do not see why they should involve you in any decision. After all, their conclusion is the only logical one, so you should merely agree with it, and follow. And if you would try to influence or negotiate these decisions, be prepared to take some emotional beatings, because they will strike back hard, very hard!

How can you maintain a relationship like this, persevere and remain emotionally intact? The simple answer is; you cannot!

There are several ways to deal with specific personalities, but not of them are pleasant, wise or healthy.

The first and most obvious impulse is for you wanting to beat them up.

I agree it is tempting to simply give them a good pounding than trying to reason with them.

Unfortunately, this is not the smartest approach. First, it will put you in a bad light and probably get you in trouble with the (real) authorities. Furthermore, this assertive defensive tactic will only feed their superiority feeling; ‘how powerless must you be if you have to resort to physical violence.’ Perhaps they will even use the situation to win sympathy and followers by playing the victim, with another boost of self-esteem as result. No matter how you look at it, they will always win.

Another ill-advised approach is Confrontation. Ask yourself what is it you wish to achieve when thinking of confronting them? Do you want to show them how wrong their actions are? You feel they should take responsibility for it?

None of those motivations are valid, as it is impossible for you to convince the person of him being wrong.

However, if you HAVE to confront them, then you should handle the confrontation with the understanding that you will not be able to convince or change that person. Thinking back on how they generally respond to criticism, make sure you have a few people around you that can protect and witness for you when the confrontation gets out of hand. The encounter only has one goal: Get off my back!

It is better to avoid confrontation altogether.

But when it is not possible to take some distance at the time, the best way is to ignore the person. Although it is not always a possibility, for example, if the guy is breathing down your neck all the time, it is better to take a deep breath, tune out and let the situation pass. Or, if you are comfortable with it, as they are extremely susceptible to flattery, you can try to appease them by pleasing their ego. This will get them off your back for a while. Try avoiding the confrontation, so you can go for the best solution: Leaving.

If this is a relationship at its first stages or this person is only an acquaintance, it is wiser to simply sever the ties immediately. Get out before you get completely sucked in.

But it is never too late to leave…

Maybe you feel unhappy, or you play with the thought of leaving, or perhaps you’re reading my blog …

All of this means that, even if you feel completely oppressed, drained or dejected, you are still in control of your own thinking.

I speak from experience when I say that I understand what goes on in your head. From the outside, you may look defeated, but your brain is rebelling, struggling with all its power to protect your individuality. You understand the logic of leaving; it constantly plays in your head. You realize the injustice that is being done to you… But you just cannot take the step.

There may be different emotions or values that will prevent you from turning the thoughts into action.

Be it love, fear, sense of responsibility, honor, loyalty and so on.

How do you turn your thoughts into action?

First of all, write down how you feel and why. And keep these “letters to yourself” in a safe place. Read these letters regularly, see it as correspondence with the first person you can trust; Yourself.

The next step, once you feel ready, is to involve someone you trust. Do not trust anyone who is under the same influence of your divine jailer.

It is better to write down your situation in a letter and send it to the person you trust. Telephone calls and texting are not an ideal and safe way of communication.

Provide your confidant with a good solution of getting in touch with you without alarming Mr. All-knowing.

As this person will be your lifeline, you need to find the best one really. Find someone that can stand up for and to you, someone with guts, someone that will be moving boxes with you at two ‘o’clock at night or will be waiting for you at 3 am to pick you up. That person that will be there for you whatever, whenever.

Do not feel ashamed for leaving in the middle of the night, or disappearing when they are at work. You are NOT obliged to give any explanation why you are leaving. Your only concern is to get out of ‘heaven’!

Do not worry if you are feeling anxious and afraid, even when you are already on the road; this feeling is very natural.

Bit by bit, it will start to sink in, and you will smell the sweet scent of returning freedom.

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